Archive | March, 2009

Best Songs for the Recession

13 Mar

The right music can help one survive this current recession.  No, these songs will not pay the bills or put cash in your pocket, but they can help a person deal with dwindling 401k’s and evaporating bank accounts.  Just because you can’t pay your mortgage doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time. Just crank the stereo up to eleven. To that end, the Hangover offers:

The Soundtrack to the Recession:    

Nobody Knows You When You’re Down And Out  
by Eric Clapton
This is a blues classic written by Jimmy Cox in 1923 and revived by Eric Clapton on his 1992 MTV Unplugged appearance.   Spanning a time prior to the Great Depression through today, the song rings true. 
Pertinent lyrics:  It’s mighty strange, without any doubt/ Nobody knows you when you’re down and out.

I Hate Banks
by Mojo Nixon and Skid Roper
Yep, let’s face it.  There aren’t many institutions more responsible for the bog we’re in than those greedy, unregulated banks.  The incomparable Mojo was on to them way back in the ’80’s.  We should have listened.
Pertinent lyrics:   Republicans, one and all/their tallywackers are mighty small.

by The Rolling Stones
Of course, the center of the financial world is New York, New York.  And that is where the rot of our economy emanates from.   The Stones 1978 paean to the city presciently details the gangrene at its core. 
Pertinent lyrics:  Uh huh, this town’s full of money grabbers/go ahead, bite the big apple, don’t mind the maggots, uh huh.

Detroit Breakdown
by The J Geils Band
The American auto industry is in critical condition.   They can’t build good cars.  Design and production have slipped behind the rest of the world.   Then their corporate honchos take private jets to Washington to get reamed by Congress when begging for a bailout.  And yet, the J Geils band still wants to blow your face out.   Unlike the automakers, they’re still relevant.  
Pertinent lyrics:    Detroit breakdown/yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah/Motor City shakeown/yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Been Caught Stealing
by Jane’s Addiction
This one’s dedicated to Bernie Madhoff, kingpin of the largest Ponzi scheme in history.   One can only hope that his backside brings a fair price in Marlboros when introduced to the barter-and-trade prison economy.  
Pertinent lyrics:  We sat around the pile, sat and laughed/We sat and laughed and waved it into the air

Dazed And Confused
by Led Zeppelin
Nobody has any idea of what’s going on with our economy.  Not Jim Cramer, Barack Obama, Alan Greenspan,  Ben Bemanke, Warren Buffet, or any other expert one can name.   Don’t believe the bellowing; they don’t have any more of a clue than you do.  While Led Zep is actually singing about a woman, one needs to look for only the slimmest connection to see that it’s symbolically relevant here. 
Pertinent lyrics:    You hurt and abused tellin’ all of your lies/Run around sweet baby, lord how they hypnotize

I Hate the Rich
by The Dils
On sheer volume, no one is losing more money than the rich these days.  That’s one of the beautiful things about the recession:  It hurts us all.  Having to sell off a second vacation home can’t wound any less than getting kicked out of your house because you can’t pay the mortgage.  And it just has to kill to trade in a BMW for a Toyota.  The Dils reflect this attitude quickly and brilliantly.     
Pertinent lyrics:  I hate the rich/I hate the poor   

Takin’ Care Of Business
by Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Unemployment is rising rapidly. Factories are closing. Businesses of all types, from the Washington Redskins to CITI, are laying off and cutting back. Soon enough, people won’t even have enough money to eat at fast food restaurants, and then the only growing sector of our economy–the service industry–will stagnate, too. BTO offers a positive life plan for those without employment: Doing nothing.
Pertinent lyrics: Look at me I’m self-employed/I love to work at nothing all day/And I’ll be…/Taking care of business every day/Taking care of business every way.

Can’t Buy Me Love
by The Beatles
So, you don’t have any money. Neither does anyone else. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have what’s important in life: Sex. Put away those miserable banks statements, go out, and hook up. Why not?
Pertinent Lyrics: I don’t care too much for money/Money can’t buy me love

Chocolate Cake
by Crowded House
It’s possible that one might feel bad about having to cut back on personal spending, unneeded opulence, and gluttony. Stop the self pity. This Crowded House song, a biting satire on the fat-and-happy American way of life, will make you glad you gave it all up–even if it wasn’t by choice.
Pertinent lyrics: Now the excess of fat on your American bones/Will cushion the impact as you sink like a stone

Bank Robber
by The Clash
The singer’s father is a bankrobber who “never hurt nobody.” That can’t be said for those running the banking industry today–or for the numbskulls who took on mortgages that a molecule of common sense would have told them were criminally unrealistic. But as the Clash point out, we’re facing worse challenges.
Pertinent lyrics: The old man spoke up in a bar/Said I never been in prison/A lifetime serving one machine/Is ten times worse than prison

Low Budget
by The Kinks
Ray Davies was one of rock’s first socially conscious songwriters. He remains one of the best. Back in the ’70’s Davies rocked the cycle of economic calamity. His advice: Cut back and draw a pint. We’ll get over it.
Pertinent Lyrics: Money’s rare, there’s none to be found/So don’t think I’m tight if I don’t buy a round.

Stonehill’s Stone Age Thinking Condom-ened

6 Mar

Catholic Stonehill College recently prohibited students from distributing free condoms in student dormitories,  as reported in the Boston Globe.  A group of students had collected the condoms from family planning agencies and placed boxes of them in residences on campus.   However, when the “higher-ups” at the Catholic college found out about the birth control and sexually-transmitted-disease preventatives, they were confiscated.   Hopefully, no students were burned at the stake for the transgression. 

So, is it Stonehill or Catholics in general who don’t believe in birth control or disease prevention?  But that is a negative positing of the issue.  Perhaps Catholics are simply in favor of spreading life-threatening disease and unwanted pregnancies. 

Stonehill Spokesman Martin McGovern said, “We’re a private Catholic college.  We make no secret of our religious affiliation, and our belief system is fairly straightforward. We don’t expect everyone on campus to agree with our beliefs, but we would ask people, and students in particular, to respect them.”   What is it about religion that makes supposedly educated people act like imbeciles?   Is the study of evolution also prohibited there?

Common sense and experience tells us:

  • College students have sex.
  • Unprotected sex can result in unwanted pregnancies.
  • Unprotected sex can spread STD’s, of which AIDS can be fatal.
  • Condoms can help prevent the transimission of said diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

Apparently, Stonehill finds it more important (and morally ethical) to operate under an antiquated, lets-produce-more-Catholics policy than to allow students to look out for the welfare of their peers.  The Hangover is no Biblical scholar, but caring for your fellow man was one of Jesus’s messages.  In unison, the Catholic church and the educators at Stonehill have goose-stepped away from that tenet.  It is the height of hypocrisy. 

Examine the following scenario:  There’s a fellow who studies hard, carefully examining his favorite subject, religion, on every level.  However, he’s a social type and a binge drinker of wine.  All his cavorting leads him into a relationship with a young woman of loose morals; some might call her a whore.  At this point, nothing can stop them from having sexual relations.  One would think that even the Pope would want young Jesus to wrap his rascal when getting down with Mary Magdalene–if only to preclude the work of Dan Brown.   It would seem that the Catholic church has enough problems without crusading against the students at its universities.