The Hangover’s Disney Hangover

8 Feb

The Hangover has just returned from Disneyworld, slightly sun-tanned, moderately beaten, and definitely broke.  Here is the report:

  • Disneyworld is not a bad place to have a hangover (the condition, not the blog).  When one is forced to monitor their own inner struggles, it is easy to ignore all else that one would normally find hugely annoying:  the masses and masses of people, all excited by manufactured experience; the waiting (for transportation, amusement rides, lunch, etc..,.);  that all employees are impossibly friendly and helpful; that people actually enjoy this kind of thing. 
  • There are a great deal of Americans who could use some time on a treadmill.
  • The real world doesn’t exist in Disney.   The Hangover was there for a week, a duration that encompassed the Superbowl and Super Tuesday.  There was very little talk of the football game and none of the election.  I felt like a criminal when I got back to the room at night and flipped on Keith Olberman. 
  • The isolation detailed above is not always a bad thing.  As The Hangover supports the Patriots, it was easy to go on a media boycott of game analysis and discussion.  I just kept the TV in the room off of ESPN.   As I continued to parade around in my throwback Pats hat, I didn’t get grief from anyone–including New Yorkers in Eli shirts.  That just isn’t normal.
  • The in-room cable system had approximately 50 channels, 63 of which were Disney related including Toon Disney, Radio Disney, Park Highlights, Disney Cruiselines, The Greatest Left-handed Disney Characters, Disney Princess Rehab, and My Favorite Dwarf starring Snow White.  These channels run 24/7.
  • Kim Possible, mmmmmmmmmmm!
  • While the Disney company urged us to save water by reusing towels, The Hangover noticed very few (two) recycling receptacles on the grounds of the theme parks and resorts.   Perhaps there is some massive behind-the-scenes environmental effort manned by those employees who aren’t unnaturally nice to the guests.  Or it could be they load up the trash, pile it into giant rockets, and shoot it off into the atmosphere of Space Mountain.
  • The Hangover’s investigation did lead to one reality check.  At the House of Blues in Downtown Disney on a Saturday night, there was an actual blues band.  They played real live electric blues, including Mojo Nixon and Blaster’s covers.  Those who managed to make it past a murderer’s row of cheesy dance clubs pimping rehashed hits and techno (“Machines ain’t music”–Mojo  Nixon) were rewarded for their effort.  The beer was cold and the music was loud, and being that I was under the Mouse’s thumb, it was enough to make me feel like a kid again–the sixteen year-old sneaking Buds out on Sylvester’s Hill road in the family Maverick.  It was well worth the hangover (the condition). 
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