Heavyweight Endorsements

19 Jan

One too many metal chairs to the head must have started Ric Flair seeing angels.  He’s endorsing and campaigning with Republican presidential candidate and religious fanatic, Mike Huckabee.  With God and Flair on his side, Huckabee should dominate Southern state primaries, where everyone believes in God and professional wrestling. 

It is crucial that other Republicans counter this critical endorsement.  Is there a more natural fit than Sergeant Slaughter and John McCain?  Both have waged long, bitter foreign wars, McCain against the Vietnamese and Slaughter versus the Iron Sheik.  Fred Thompson and The Undertaker share a comparable size, monotone, simplicity of approach, and lack of charisma.  Mitt Romney, the well-heeled front runner, should immediately court his wrestling equivalent, the inestimable Hulk Hogan, who could then lead mild Mitt through Florida on a “Pythons for Change” campaign.  Ron Paul can get  the Sex Pistols; with those punks behind him, he doesn’t need wrestlers.  And as for Rudy Giuliani, not even Macho Man Randy Savage off the top rope could rally his cause. 

No matter what the media might tell us, Mr. Joe Six-pack doesn’t care who the NRA, UAW, or John Birch Society supports. But when Ric Flair howls, “Wooooooooo,” voters listen. 


3 Responses to “Heavyweight Endorsements”

  1. Rob O'Regan January 22, 2008 at 2:00 pm #

    Don’t you think abetter fit for Romney would be Ted “The Million Dollar Man” DiBiasi? Or are you saving him for Bloomberg.

  2. Aaron, of course January 24, 2008 at 9:42 pm #


  3. Aaron, of course January 28, 2008 at 9:55 pm #

    So, Ted ‘the Cape Cod Killer’ Kennedy has endorsed Barrack for Prez. There’s a civil war in the dem party! It’s Smackdown XXI, Brother V. Brother! This outta be a hoot.

    In this corner, we have a man who needs no intruduction. Weighing in at 485 ready pounds, Ted ‘The Cape Cod Killer’ Kennedy! And his opponent for this match will be none other than Bill ‘DNA’ Clinton!

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